Can You Find Love Online?

Are people looking for love in all the wrong places online? The digital media world has become a very real part of most people’s everyday lives. They communicate via social media, get their news via digital television, shop at ecommerce sites and find dates at online dating sites. But are online dating sites the best places to find a romantic connection?

Even if you only consider the ways to meet someone online, they may not be the best choice. To understand why, you need to view the online digital media world in the context of real world interactions. There are many places you can meet a potential date or mate in the real world: your church, your neighborhood, a club, your place of business, the local bar, a singles bar or… yes, a dating service. It’s common wisdom that you’ll find the most compatible partners – and therefore, those with whom you’re most likely to build a long-term, stable relationship – by finding your dates in places where you share common interests – you church, an interest club, your professional relationships. If you’re looking for fun, you might find it in a singles bar, but the chances that you’ll find a true and lasting love there are slim. You’re more likely to find people who like to hang out in bars – which is probably not the best place to find someone with whom you want to spend your life.

The online world is similarly divided, though it’s not quite as obvious. There are many different types of connections you can make in the digital media world, and each of them plays to a different type of relationship. Many digital dating sites are no better than a glitzy singles bar. They’re populated with people in the market for quick hookups and predators looking for lonely people they can exploit. There are exceptions, of course – and those well-known dating sites that carefully screen people before “introducing” them are the equivalent of a real world dating service – or the old-fashioned yenta.

If not on dating sites, then, where do you find romance and love in the world of digital media? Again, think how various digital media entities compare with offline counterparts. Many people meet first when they interact with each other on Facebook – usually because they share friends in common. It’s not much different than being introduced by a common acquaintance. Others meet when they play a game together, just as many people meet in the real world when they share common interests. And as more and more people work at home through an online connection, it’s becoming more and more common for people to meet a lifelong love when they work together on a project.

How do you find love in an increasingly digital media world? The answer is the same answer it has always been – make yourself the most attractive person you can be, extend respect to everyone you meet and remain open to the possibilities that every relationship holds.

Social Media and the Digital Revolution: Tools for Enhancing Love?

The Digital Revolution has taken a bad rap. Every year, there is at least one day devoted to “tuning out and turning off” – that is, turning off the digital media, tuning out of the social media and engaging fully in face to face and real life interactions. It’s a valuable exercise, but it’s built on the notion that interactions that take place over digital media are inherently harmful to relationships. In fact, when used in the right way, social media and other digital tools can help you enhance your relationships and keep the spark of your love burning bright. Here are just a few ways that you can use today’s technology to help enhance your relationships and keep love alive, whether you’re far away from each other or in the next room.

Connect Through Social Media

Facebook, Twitter, instant messengers and other social media sites are communication tools that you can use in many ways to connect with your loved one throughout the course of the day. Instant messengers allow you to maintain a connection between you and your love that can be as strong as working at the next desk. Never underestimate the impact of a quick IM that says, “I’m thinking of you.”

Make Your Status Known

Much as been said about the fact that social media makes it easy to depersonalize your relationships, but tools like your Facebook status also serve as a powerful social signal. One of the most important moments in the early stages of a relationship is the moment you decide to announce yourself to the world as a couple. Your “In a Relationship” or “Dating” or “Totally Taken!” status serves the same purpose as showing off your ring or changing your last name. It announces to the world that you are a couple and sends a powerful signal to the person you love that you are proud of them and want to show them off.

Share Experiences Through Digital Media

Separation is one of the most difficult things for a couple in love. Telephone calls and letters, even emails and IM messages can only go so far. The world of digital media and digital television can make a weekly date night possible even if you’re both on opposite sides of the world. Simply queue up the same Pay Per View movie or video at a specified time, and watch it “together” while you’re on the telephone or in an online chat.

Digital communication is often seen as a tool of ecommerce, a for-profit scheme that depersonalizes the world and separates us from each other. Like any other tool, though, it all depends on the use. When you use it to communicate and connect, digital media can be a powerful tool for building and enhancing intimacy in love.